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Copyrighted © Jayne Waterford, 2013 & Published 8th July 2013. Previous captions first published 13th August 2012, copyrighted © Jayne Waterford, 2012.

In the spirit of what may have been, Rupert Sanders' "SNOW WHITE AND THE HUNTSMAN" (2012) gives us gorgeous, surprising and well thought out experiences sprinkled with of course. As with the performances they are discrete in manner as if we're taking lumps of sugar with our tea. It led to a lack of momentum but left us with memories of beauty.

Snow White (Kristen Stewart) is girl who gives us the impression of un-airbrushed beauty. She has bags under her eyes when she is tired and plays the part of a young woman who has come of age with a halting double take. She has a curious way of conveying shyness or playfulness. There's a shrug and a decision to move that reads as demure when she is prompted to change direction by a male presence or a request to interact. It conveys a tentativeness that rivals the reptilian leader in Tim Johnson, Karey Kirkpatrick's "OVER THE HEDGE" (2006). It's an interesting technique.

Stewart she gives us a young woman who considers various young suitors and tries William (Sam Claflin), a nothing-but-beautiful one with a kiss, while, "the

hijacked trying so hard to be pretty," (Rodriguez, "Lifestyles" (1971)) before working out who her true love is. Her true love is the one who saves her with a full-on, Andrew Adamson, Kelly Asbury, Conrad Vernon's "SHREK 2" (2004)-like love's first kiss. It's refreshing, rather than one girl sitting and waiting for mister right to marry and live happily ever after. Love isn't the core of the story, surprising considering Stewart's previous work. In fact her feelings are more like a trickle that meanders into a puddle.

Chris Hemsworth plays at an ugly role, his hair smeared over his head, his face covered in various patterns of grime. We get the idea of a simple and practical drunk, wallowing in desperation and guilt over the murder of his wife.

*takes deep breath*

Charlize Theron as the perpetual Queen Ravenna is beautiful, in many ways. He face covers the span of many ages, convincingly but that's all. Her scenes were quiet and laboured as if we were meant to be content to look at her and when we'd had our fill, one hour in, finally, the dwarfs make their entrance beating Chris Hemsworth.

Rupert Sanders'
Release Date 21st June 2012
Category Action Adventure
Running Time 127 minutes (2 hours, 7 minutes)
Rating M
Origin USA
Director Rupert Sanders
Stars Kristen Stewart (Snow White), Chris Hemsworth (The Huntsman), Charlize Theron (Ravenna), Sam Claflin (William), Sam Spruell (Finn), Ian McShane (Beith), Bob Hoskins (Muir), Ray Winstone (Gort), Nick Frost (Nion), Eddie Marsan (Duir), Toby Jones (Cole), Johnny Harris (Quert), Brian Gleeson (Gus)
Website http://snowwhiteandthehuntsmanmovie.com, http://snowwhiteandthehuntsman.com.au
The real stars of our movie are the dwarfs. Whoever thought to give these roles to the most hardened crims on our stage is a genius. The group is led by Captain Black Beard himself (Gore Verbinski's "PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: AT WORLD'S END" (2007)), Beith (Ian McShane) and he has the cutest little bowed legs I have ever seen. I love Cole (Toby Jones). I want to sling an arm around his earlobes and rest my tankard on his head. So vulnerable a man, so careful not to wound his friend Duir's feelings. So beautiful.

They begin as eight tortured souls who have seen too much and dwindle to seven on the death of Gus (Brendan Gleeson's little brother Brian).

Special mention goes to Nion (pron. Neon) (Nick Frost) and his wicked ear piece. Duir (Eddie Marsan) does chilling, was prepared to kill the girl, we think he really does like killing girls. And especially, Quert (Johnny Harris). Harris was truly transformed and had gone to a place and back that would not like to see to give us Quert. He was stripped of intelligence and all experience. He was a dry husk of a man who could sing to please his father and not much else. He made Hemsworth's Sean Connery/Butler impersonation look silly.

And finally Bob Hoskins gives us something new as the cataract-blinded sage of the group. He acts with such authority we come to know that Snow is obviously of the blood and that no one has ever seen this before when she meets the stag, a being that takes many forms and seems to be Kenneth Grahame's dreamy Pan in his 7th Chapter, "The Piper at the Gates of Dawn" in "The Wind and the Willows" (1908).

They share something in common with other dwarfs, or as they are known in Peter Jackson's "THE HOBBIT: AN UNEXPECTED JOURNEY" ("THE HOBBIT) (2012), dwarves, an innovation of J. R. R. Tolkien's in his first published tome on the subject in 1937. They don't like nice music. Gort (Ray Winston) stuffs moss in his ears when they enter Sanctuary like Oin (John Callen) stuffs cloth in his ear trumpet to block out the light entertainment of the elves in Jackson's "THE HOBBIT".

The dwarfs of Tarsem Singh's "MIRROR MIRROR" (2012) don't really rate a mention. It was more like a "SNOW WHITE AND THE HUNTSMAN" for little people. Though their stilts are worthy of mention. They make themselves taller like the one-footed thugs of C. S. Lewis' invention in his novel "Prince Caspian" (1951), realised cinematically in Andrew Adamson's "THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: PRINCE

CASPIAN" (2008). But you know? They all ran around together!

Our band of brigands, made so by their change of fortunes under the rule of Queen Ravenna, are much more interesting. These seasoned actors compel us to travel with them as they take us to another frame of mind. They introduce us to the experience of Snow White the supernatural healer, someone who potentially could lead us to battle Ravenna and her enchanted army and retake the kingdom. I'd prefer to see a whole film about dwarfs. Even considering their pivotal role in the winning of the kingdom, Snow White's arrival seemed incidental to their story.

We get to celebrate great mediaeval pageantry worn by good looking people. We get to experience awesome CGI inventions of a dark forest and Sanctuary, the home of the fairies. The Dark Forest is full of hollows, carpeted with puff balls that give off black powder that causes graphic hallucinations that are stunning. Sanctuary is peopled by newd, androgynous beings who climb out of the chests of magpies and can well fly themselves.

And then there's ugliness. Sam Spruell as Finn, Ravenna's brother, was fearless.

The plot asks a lot of us when Bob Hoskins announces that Snow White is life itself. I was with him as her presence heals the dwarfs around her but life itself? Did she really need to be supernatural to lead an army after the manner of St Joan of Arc? Well, she is a shrugging, shy thing so in Kristen's case yes. Perhaps. And Aldan (Joey Ansah), Finn (Sam Spruell)'s archer and tracker. What a looker! This guy channelled a very sexy Aboriginal vibe in a non-speaking role.

Hemsworth was a disappointment. Perhaps Thor is more his natural inclination but as The Huntsman he was out of his depth. Yes, producers can ask us to do random and stupid things like throw accents but we're not dropping off our lunch pail. We must do them with the commitment of Johnny Harris.

I'm glad I saw "SNOW WHITE AND THE HUNTSMAN" but it should have been called "THE SEVEN DWARVES ON AN INCONVENIENT AFTERNOON". Theron and Hemsworth were awful. It was not satisfying. 6/10

Copyrighted ©: Jayne Waterford, 2013.

Official Blurb "In "SNOW WHITE AND THE HUNTSMAN", a breathtaking new vision of the legendary tale begins.

KRISTEN STEWART ("THE TWILIGHT SAGA", "ON THE ROAD") plays the only person in the land fairer than the evil Queen Ravenna (Academy Award® winner CHARLIZE THERON of "PROMENTHEUS", "HANCOCK") who is out to destroy her. But what the wicked ruler never imagined is that the young woman who has escaped her clutches and now threatens her reign has been training in the art of war with a Huntsman named Eric (CHRIS HEMSWORTH of "THOR, "THE AVENGERS") who was dispatched to capture her.

The epic action-adventure is brought to the screen by JOE ROTH, the billion-dollar-blockbuster producer of "ALICE IN WONDERLAND", and, in his feature-film debut, acclaimed commercial director and state-of-the-art visualist RUPERT SANDERS. SAM CLAFLIN ("PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: ON STRANGER
TIDES") accompanies the film’s cast of international superstars as William, the young duke long enchanted by Snow White’s defiance and innate purity. He is joined in this quest by dwarfs accompanying Snow White and the Huntsman on their fantastical journey. The characters are portrayed by actors representing a who’s who of British acting masters: IAN MCSHANE ("PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: ON STRANGER TIDES") as Beith, the embittered leader of the clan; BOB HOSKINS ("MRS HENDERSON PRESENTS") as Muir, their blind senior statesman; RAY WINSTONE ("THE DEPARTED", "INDIANA JONES: THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULLS" would've listed "SEXY BEAST" here until I encountered him in Kmart) as Gort, the ill-tempered drunkard; NICK FROST ("HOT FUZZ", "PAUL") as Nion, Beith’s right-hand man; TOBY JONES ("FROST/NIXON") as Coll, the toughest soldier among them; EDDIE MARSAN ("SHERLOCK HOLMES") as Duir, the shadow to Coll; JOHNNY HARRIS ("ATONEMENT") as Quert, Muir’s musical son; and BRIAN GLEESON ("THE EAGLE") as Gus, the youngest of the dwarfs, who embodies the kingdom’s love for Snow White.

They are supported by a cast of both seasoned and burgeoning actors that includes SAM SPRUELL ("THE HURT LOCKER") as Finn, Ravenna’s vengeful brother

who abets in her dark magic; VINCENT REGAN ("CLASH OF THE TITANS") as Duke Hammond, William’s father who leads the resistance; LILY COLE ("ST. TRINIAN'S") as the young handmaiden Greta; NOAH HUNTLEY ("28 DAYS LATER") as King Magnus, Snow White’s doomed father; LIBERTY ROSS ("W.E.") as the princess’ prescient mother; and, in her feature-film debut, RAFFEY CASSIDY as the young Snow White.

"SNOW WHITE AND THE HUNTSMAN"’s accomplished behind-the-scenes talent is led by Roth’s fellow producer, SAM MERCER ("THE SIXTH SENSE", "UNBREAKABLE"), director of photography GREIG FRASER ("LET ME IN", "BRIGHT STAR"), production designer DOMINIC WATKINS ("THE BOURNE SUPREMACY", "UNITED 93"), Oscar®-winning editor CONRAD BUFF ("TITANIC", "THE RISE OF THE PLANET OF THE APES") and editor NEIL SMITH ("FAINTHEART"), celebrated composer JAMES NEWTON HOWARD ("THE HUNGER GAMES", "THE DARK KNIGHT RISES", "LORD OF THE RINGS SAGA"), and three-time Academy Award®-winning costume designer COLLEEN ATWOOD ("ALICE IN WONDERLAND", "MEMOIRS OF A GEISHA", "CHICAGO").

The screen story for the epic action-adventure is from debuting feature screenwriter EVAN DAUGHERTY, and the screenplay is by Daugherty and JOHN LEE HANCOCK ("THE BLIND SIDE", "THE ALAMO") and HOSSEIN AMINI ("DRIVE", upcoming "47 RONIN"). The film’s executive producers are PALAK PATEL (upcoming "OZ: THE GREAT AND POWERFUL") and Oscar® winner GLORIA BORDERS ("TERMINATOR 2: JUDGEMENT DAY", "FORREST GUMP")." - UNIVERSAL PICTURES INTERNATIONAL AUSTRALASIA PR [J. Waterford ed.]
Brilliant take on a troll under a bridge, this one is part of the bridge.You cannot get across it without tackling he monster, who breaths like tyres skilling across the ashphalt but sounds more like a craft from a Lucas' "STAR WARS" movie.
"Skin white as snow.
"Hair black as night.
Bring me your heart
my dear Snow White."
Ravenna (Charlize Theron) doesn't have a bad bone in her body. Her efforts to be wicked are only as deep a ugly and pronounced funny. Her looks are the big deal.

Interesting take on the incredible mirror (Christopher Obi) though. It pours of the wall like the most expensive and exotic fabric and then coalesces into a serious man with his arms folded. When her brother sees them talking he only sees the polished disc on the wall and Ravenna talking to no one. Ah ha we think. Psychosis. Well, she was ruined by a king as a child. It doesn't explain everything but we get to be knowledgable for about 3 seconds.