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Review of "NOAH"
By Jayne Waterford
Copyrighted © Jayne Waterford, 2014 Written 27th March 2014 First published 28th March 2014. Revised 31st March 2014.
REVIEW: "NOAH" by Jayne Waterford

It's a flop.

Even the most diehard fundamentalist would have difficulty raising a, "Praise Jesus!" in the middle of this one.

Go see "CUBAN FURY" instead. People were giggling.

Emma Watson was quite good as the randy tart, cashing in on her capacity to assert information as Hermione, though I think there'll be stacks of girls out swaddling two dollies on Halloween. For that matter Jennifer Connolly has finally put in the miles for her emotional soliloquy.

Why is Russell Crowe accepting these roles? They must pay him a shitload of money. It's like he has lined Charlie and Tennyson up to a dart board of post-its of the most highly paid jobs in the USA.

I did not feel entertained. 3/10

Copyrighted ©: Jayne Waterford, 2014.

Darren Aronofsky's
"NOAH" (2014)
THE END OF THE WORLD... IS JUST THE BEGINNING
Writer and Director Darren Aronofsky
Producers Darren Aronofsky, Scott Franklin, Arnon Milchan, Mary Parent
Stars Emma Watson (Ila), Jennifer Connelly (Naameh), Logan Lerman (Ham), Russell Crowe (Noah), Anthony Hopkins (Methuselah)
Release Date 27th March 2014
Category Drama
Running Time 138 minutes (2 hours, 18 minutes)
Rating M
Origin Bible Belt USA
Awards None expected.
Coda No
http://www.noahmovie.com.au/
Distributor Paramount Pictures
Darren Aronofsky (left) and Russell Crowe (right) in NOAH, from Paramount Pictures and Regency Enterprises.
Photo credit: Niko Tavernise
MMXIII Paramount Pictures Corporation and Regency Engtertainment (USA), Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Wasted talent, Russell Crowe (foreground) is Noah in NOAH, from Paramount Pictures and Regency Enterprises.
Photo Credit: Niko Tavernise
(C) MMXIII Paramount Pictures Corporation and Regency Entertainment (USA) Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Jennifer Connelly and Russell Crowe in NOAH, from Paramount Pictures and Regency Enterprises.
Photo credit: Niko Tavernise
MMXIII Paramount Pictures Corporation and Regency Engtertainment (USA), Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Emma Watson is Ila in NOAH, from Paramount Pictures and Regency Enterprises..N-13778
Photo credit: Niko Tavernise
MMXIV Paramount Pictures Corporation and Regency Engtertainment (USA), Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Academy-Award winner Russell Crowe as Noah from Academy-Award nominated director Darren Aronofsky's NOAH. Based on the Biblical account of Noah's journey, NOAH also stars Academy-Award winner Sir Anthony Hopkins (Methuselah) and Academy-Award winner Jennifer Connelly (Naameh). The film will be released worldwide in March, 2014.

Russell Crowe is Noah in "NOAH", from Paramount Pictures.

Photo Credit: Niko Tavernise

© 2012 Paramount Pictures. All Rights Reserved.

(Left to Right) Jennifer Connelly (Naameh) and Russell Crowe (Noah)

Photo Credit: Niko Tavernise

2012 Paramount Pictures. All Rights Reserved.

Photo credit: Niko Tavernise

2013 Paramount Pictures. All Rights Reserved.